Togusa (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
standalonehuman) wrote2030-01-27 12:00 pm
standalonehuman) wrote2030-01-27 12:00 pm
Recolle IC Inbox
Togusa
This is Togusa. Feel free to message me at any time.
VOICE | TEXT | VIDEO | ACTION
Oh. See, now that's more of a reason for me to ask him what's going on.
So, no, he is not, but if you could not tell him that?
So, no, he is not, but if you could not tell him that?
[Tim frowns at the screen. He hadn't exactly considered ceasing his attempts. He's not dissuaded, just worried.
Togusa doesn't consider wrongly. There's something about a lack of control against something with a lot of control that keeps Tim bristled at all corners.
They're confident in their security. They don't think anyone will make leeway.
So they're taunting with the photos. "Try us."
But if someone actually gets in, their funny business could go down the drain quick.
Togusa doesn't consider wrongly. There's something about a lack of control against something with a lot of control that keeps Tim bristled at all corners.
They're confident in their security. They don't think anyone will make leeway.
So they're taunting with the photos. "Try us."
But if someone actually gets in, their funny business could go down the drain quick.
You're worried that, for all they're managing to do to us, this is still just them messing around.
That as soon as we start to make real progress, we'll see what they're really capable of.
[A legitimate concern, and Togusa immediately jumps to the greater concern that Retrospec might not lash back out at Togusa and Tim, personally, but at everyone.]
If the other option is to do nothing, then, that's not happening. But we need to be aware of the risks.
That as soon as we start to make real progress, we'll see what they're really capable of.
[A legitimate concern, and Togusa immediately jumps to the greater concern that Retrospec might not lash back out at Togusa and Tim, personally, but at everyone.]
If the other option is to do nothing, then, that's not happening. But we need to be aware of the risks.
Things will keep changing. Things they'll do.
Does changing who we are really mean we're the same people as before?
Isn't that what change is?
[He's Tim. Feels... normal. Normal family, normal name, normal life. But it's stable, what he knows. Get up, go to class, be smart enough to find a way around technology. There was never any giant conspiracy theories. Nothing that couldn't be explained by logic. Now...
Who really is Tim? Will he stop being Tim if Retrospec starts messing more with everything.]
What if someone does want to change?
Does changing who we are really mean we're the same people as before?
Isn't that what change is?
[He's Tim. Feels... normal. Normal family, normal name, normal life. But it's stable, what he knows. Get up, go to class, be smart enough to find a way around technology. There was never any giant conspiracy theories. Nothing that couldn't be explained by logic. Now...
Who really is Tim? Will he stop being Tim if Retrospec starts messing more with everything.]
What if someone does want to change?
Then I suppose it's up to them to decide what the changes that we experience mean. We keep changing every day. If the things you see feel more true to you than what you know about yourself? Then it's still within your power to change your behavior to match it. Your power, not Retrospec's.
If the current top line on the betting pool turns out to be right, Togusa suddenly remembers he was a feudal samurai. I still get to choose what I do with that information.
But if you were looking for a good impetus to change your life? This might be what you were waiting for.
If the current top line on the betting pool turns out to be right, Togusa suddenly remembers he was a feudal samurai. I still get to choose what I do with that information.
But if you were looking for a good impetus to change your life? This might be what you were waiting for.
[ SCORE, Souji got out of this hole that he dug himself in. He must have rolled a good number for his luck ]
My lips are sealed. I won't tell him a thing.
I'm sorry to have bothered you out of the blue on this. Prompto did seem worried.
My lips are sealed. I won't tell him a thing.
I'm sorry to have bothered you out of the blue on this. Prompto did seem worried.
Prompto keeps finding new ways to impress me. He's probably got nothing to worry about.
But why oh why would he be worried about me contacting him? I wonder...
[Yeah. Yeah. Prompto's in trouble.]
But why oh why would he be worried about me contacting him? I wonder...
[Yeah. Yeah. Prompto's in trouble.]
Would you really rather not know? I'll admit I'm surprised to hear that idea coming out of you.
[WOW, LOOK, TOGUSA. HE WANTS TO KNOW EVERYTHING EXCEPT who he use to be. It fucks with him too hard.]
Why? What's that supposed to mean?
We don't even know if what they are giving us is a lie or the truth.
Being told we're a baker or a crazy cat lady is one thing.
But what if they try to make you believe you're actually a depressed and homicidal maniac?
What if they say you've killed fifty people?
You extorted and embezzled tons of money from the already poor public?
Why? What's that supposed to mean?
We don't even know if what they are giving us is a lie or the truth.
Being told we're a baker or a crazy cat lady is one thing.
But what if they try to make you believe you're actually a depressed and homicidal maniac?
What if they say you've killed fifty people?
You extorted and embezzled tons of money from the already poor public?
But have you done those things? Even if they say you did, even if you have the memory of doing it? Did you harm anyone? Is there anyone in this life that is hurt or dead?
The concept that the sins of our ancestors or our past lives follow us is an encouragement to do well in this life, to minimize the harm that you do. It's not meant to turn into an ever-growing burden of karmic guilt that no man could ever possibly carry.
No matter how much proof Retrospec puts before you, then you cling to what you know to be true. And if you believe it? Then the real strength is finding a way to forgive your past self for it.
You are still you. No matter how the physical form or memories change.
The concept that the sins of our ancestors or our past lives follow us is an encouragement to do well in this life, to minimize the harm that you do. It's not meant to turn into an ever-growing burden of karmic guilt that no man could ever possibly carry.
No matter how much proof Retrospec puts before you, then you cling to what you know to be true. And if you believe it? Then the real strength is finding a way to forgive your past self for it.
You are still you. No matter how the physical form or memories change.
[The words are only partially comforting. Not because Togusa is shit at saying the right things, but that Tim is shit at accepting them.
There's so much made-up honor riding on his shoulders: scholarships, good grades, perfect attendance, extracurriculars--the idea he tarnished such fleeting things that are now intensely important is a travesty.]
People don't know who they are without the past.
[Doesn't the past make you who you are now? he thinks.]
Other people may not forgive you for your past either.
And what if Retrospec broadcast it to the entire city?
Especially if it's lies. It could hurt someone.
There's so much made-up honor riding on his shoulders: scholarships, good grades, perfect attendance, extracurriculars--the idea he tarnished such fleeting things that are now intensely important is a travesty.]
People don't know who they are without the past.
[Doesn't the past make you who you are now? he thinks.]
Other people may not forgive you for your past either.
And what if Retrospec broadcast it to the entire city?
Especially if it's lies. It could hurt someone.
Forget the ancestors, and social context, then. Are you still who you are in a vacuum?
Without other people telling you who you are, there is still a piece of the individual that remains in spite of all of that. We keep speaking of the shared unconscious, that knowledge of humanity that flows between everyone. And the possibility that Retrospec is manipulating that, in order to change how everyone sees the world.
But there is still a part of you that they can't touch. These new memories that you're seeing are just that. They're new. Layered on top of what you already know to be true about yourself. Ghost, soul, true self, whatever you want to call it, they still can't touch that.
No matter how loud they say their lies about you. Those who know you well will know the difference.
Without other people telling you who you are, there is still a piece of the individual that remains in spite of all of that. We keep speaking of the shared unconscious, that knowledge of humanity that flows between everyone. And the possibility that Retrospec is manipulating that, in order to change how everyone sees the world.
But there is still a part of you that they can't touch. These new memories that you're seeing are just that. They're new. Layered on top of what you already know to be true about yourself. Ghost, soul, true self, whatever you want to call it, they still can't touch that.
No matter how loud they say their lies about you. Those who know you well will know the difference.
[It takes Tim a little while to respond. Stepping back for a second, he realizes how ridiculous he (thinks he's) acting.
Is he still Tim in a vacuum?]
Theoretically, I'm not Tim in a vacuum if there's nothing to judge my existence against.
How am I Tim if there's no outside stimuli?
Not to blow holes in your ship, Officer Togusa.
[But he thinks about Conner, his friend. Those who know you well will know the difference. Would Conner still know he's Tim, no matter what Retrospec says?]
Are you trying to say we shouldn't stop Retrospec from divvying out information, even if it's a lie?
Is he still Tim in a vacuum?]
Theoretically, I'm not Tim in a vacuum if there's nothing to judge my existence against.
How am I Tim if there's no outside stimuli?
Not to blow holes in your ship, Officer Togusa.
[But he thinks about Conner, his friend. Those who know you well will know the difference. Would Conner still know he's Tim, no matter what Retrospec says?]
Are you trying to say we shouldn't stop Retrospec from divvying out information, even if it's a lie?
Hell no! These assholes have crossed every line imaginable, and we're stopping them. Period. Handing out information and weapons and messing with people's heads? No, they get stopped.
But part of the job is to help the people affected before we can put a hard stop to it all.
[Answering his questions in reverse order because hell no. The only thing more ridiculous than what Retrospec is doing is the idea that Togusa wouldn't do his job.]
There's a couple of ways we can look at the question of Tim in a vacuum. What are the internal pieces of yourself that you've never told to anyone? You can debate whether you are your social self or you are your internal self, or whether you are the interaction between these two concepts. But whatever piece of it makes up more of your sense of self? You can't deny that there is a part of you that is entirely removed from anyone else.
That last part of individuality.
But part of the job is to help the people affected before we can put a hard stop to it all.
[Answering his questions in reverse order because hell no. The only thing more ridiculous than what Retrospec is doing is the idea that Togusa wouldn't do his job.]
There's a couple of ways we can look at the question of Tim in a vacuum. What are the internal pieces of yourself that you've never told to anyone? You can debate whether you are your social self or you are your internal self, or whether you are the interaction between these two concepts. But whatever piece of it makes up more of your sense of self? You can't deny that there is a part of you that is entirely removed from anyone else.
That last part of individuality.
[Oh. Thank God. Tim is relieved in the sense that Togusa continues to be on board trying to stop Retrospec regardless.
Help the people affected by it. Okay. The longer this continues, the less he considers Taking Down the Corporation and more Altruistically Available.]
Just checking.
[Tim at the core seemed initially to be a boy zooming straight into college for career reasons. Because it was expected of him. Because he was bored with the monotony of excelling.
Further, a drive, insatiable. A desire to mean something. To be important, intellectually. To be shit with friends because he's embarrassed by his inability to Social correctly.
There's something missing, something that makes his brain hurt just behind his eye, in the socket, sharp and aching. Wanting to go home when he touched the tubing in the building.
But it's all wrong. The stairs were too wide, too elaborate. Just a glimpse of it. The foyer in the front too open.
He tried to forget it like a dream, and yet, he thinks about it again when trying to think of himself.]
How are we supposed to know?
If we're in a vacuum, how do we even know we exist at all?
[Going at it too logical.]
I get what you're saying.
I just don't know if it's possible when some random corporation altering everything.
Help the people affected by it. Okay. The longer this continues, the less he considers Taking Down the Corporation and more Altruistically Available.]
Just checking.
[Tim at the core seemed initially to be a boy zooming straight into college for career reasons. Because it was expected of him. Because he was bored with the monotony of excelling.
Further, a drive, insatiable. A desire to mean something. To be important, intellectually. To be shit with friends because he's embarrassed by his inability to Social correctly.
There's something missing, something that makes his brain hurt just behind his eye, in the socket, sharp and aching. Wanting to go home when he touched the tubing in the building.
But it's all wrong. The stairs were too wide, too elaborate. Just a glimpse of it. The foyer in the front too open.
He tried to forget it like a dream, and yet, he thinks about it again when trying to think of himself.]
How are we supposed to know?
If we're in a vacuum, how do we even know we exist at all?
[Going at it too logical.]
I get what you're saying.
I just don't know if it's possible when some random corporation altering everything.
[While the part of this equation that they have more direct control over is how they react to what Retrospec is doing, Togusa is completely not on board with letting them do whatever they like. He remains determined to do his job. But maybe the reason he is so driven now is because he is waiting for a similar crisis to come to him, that Tim is struggling with. Will he still be so confident when he starts to remember?]
This isn't something that we're just all going to be able to overcome at once. Retrospec's game is to get us to keep questioning ourselves and each other.
So, keep something. One thing that you know to be true about yourself, that even they can't take away. And hold on to that.
Even if, like you suggested earlier, you decide that you like this version of yourself that Retrospec is telling you about? There's still something that you can keep to yourself, so you know it's your choice to change your behavior, and not their influence.
This isn't something that we're just all going to be able to overcome at once. Retrospec's game is to get us to keep questioning ourselves and each other.
So, keep something. One thing that you know to be true about yourself, that even they can't take away. And hold on to that.
Even if, like you suggested earlier, you decide that you like this version of yourself that Retrospec is telling you about? There's still something that you can keep to yourself, so you know it's your choice to change your behavior, and not their influence.
Do you have some free time this week? I would like to meet you for tea, perhaps.
[Oh, man, Lucian, you said the magic words.]
Now that we're back to normal size, and we can't swim in my teacups? Of course. Would you like to meet out, or I'd be glad to have you over?
If you can stand dogs, that is.
Now that we're back to normal size, and we can't swim in my teacups? Of course. Would you like to meet out, or I'd be glad to have you over?
If you can stand dogs, that is.
So where do we go from here?
Send out some kind of PSA over the network about "holding onto yourself"?
Are there even any decent therapists in this city?
Everyone is still going to be worried about losing themselves.
[Or remembering.
Tim thinks about the Titans. Teen Titans. He doesn't know what the hell it means. Just a group of them. Why?]
Did you get anything yet? Be honest.
About who you think you are.
Send out some kind of PSA over the network about "holding onto yourself"?
Are there even any decent therapists in this city?
Everyone is still going to be worried about losing themselves.
[Or remembering.
Tim thinks about the Titans. Teen Titans. He doesn't know what the hell it means. Just a group of them. Why?]
Did you get anything yet? Be honest.
About who you think you are.
[Wellllll fuck, Togusa just can't quite bring himself to lie about this when he's asked directly. Especially while Tim is in the middle of his own crisis.]
Mental? Not a thing. No memories out of place. No sudden flashes like other people have been describing.
Just a scar from a bullet wound to the chest, and a gun from Japan in the mail.
No memory of the gun, and I've never been shot.
It could mean anything. I'm a cop, I could have been shot in the line of duty. Do I sit here and worry about whether I broke the law in a past life?
[Well okay YES, he IS, and it's all your fault, Tim, but he isn't going to say that right now.]
Or do I keep reminding myself of what I know to be true?
Mental? Not a thing. No memories out of place. No sudden flashes like other people have been describing.
Just a scar from a bullet wound to the chest, and a gun from Japan in the mail.
No memory of the gun, and I've never been shot.
It could mean anything. I'm a cop, I could have been shot in the line of duty. Do I sit here and worry about whether I broke the law in a past life?
[Well okay YES, he IS, and it's all your fault, Tim, but he isn't going to say that right now.]
Or do I keep reminding myself of what I know to be true?
[ Tea is so very important. ]
I can go to your place, if it does not impose.
Dogs are good friends.
I can go to your place, if it does not impose.
Dogs are good friends.
[Togusa texts him the address, and he is free that evening after work. It's an apartment complex not too far from the edge of the University. Togusa lives on the second floor, which made for quite the challenge in the previous week. It's just him and his dog, Daisuke, there, so Lucian can drop by any time.]
[ Lucian arrives punctually at the time he promised to come. He has some tea and biscuits with him, as is polite when visiting another.
What Togusa would notice immediately is that he has a trench coat-like jacket on, despite the fact that it's already May. ]
Hello. Thank you for having me over.
What Togusa would notice immediately is that he has a trench coat-like jacket on, despite the fact that it's already May. ]
Hello. Thank you for having me over.
[A scar and a gun. But does that mean Togusa is an officer of the Law, or a criminal yakuza?]
Okay, hear me out:
Curing psychological ailments with memory altering is one thing.
But if these are false, how do you know people won't change by accepting them?
What I said about being a serial killer. Maybe they're not. But what if they feel like it's a part of them that was missing? What if they accept it and become what they've been told? A killing machine, suicidal, hell they could jump off a building thinking they could fly.
But you said you had a scar? That's physical. It doesn't make any sense.
Okay, hear me out:
Curing psychological ailments with memory altering is one thing.
But if these are false, how do you know people won't change by accepting them?
What I said about being a serial killer. Maybe they're not. But what if they feel like it's a part of them that was missing? What if they accept it and become what they've been told? A killing machine, suicidal, hell they could jump off a building thinking they could fly.
But you said you had a scar? That's physical. It doesn't make any sense.
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