The gamble doesn't work, and Togusa immediately feels terrible for trying it. Between her words, the feeling hits him hard. If Mariko is, in fact, remembering things from the same world as him? He suddenly has a lot of power. That he shouldn't leverage, no matter how pissed off he is. What if-
Jesus christ, what if she remembers Marcoh Amoretti?
The chill down his spine sobers him, and Togusa's whole body posture relaxes when he looks at Mariko again. Something has significantly spooked him.
"...That's not true." Quieter. "If I had a choice, I'd rather have you back than Gentiana. Retrospec- they don't know what they just unleashed on themselves by bringing you back. I've got no kind of, claim or whatever on Gentiana. She's her own woman, let her be. And if she came back, I might try to keep things the way they are too much."
"But I'm coping." His voice strengthens again. "If I were to let this go, just try to accept that I'll never get the answers? That's when I give up who I am. No, I don't have all the pieces, but that's why I keep collecting them. It's why I keep laying them out for you, or Tatsuo, or Ardyn, or a hundred people who might put it together better than me."
He runs that hand through his hair, floofing up the ends so they stick in every direction. "I'm not- trying to do this alone. But I am not going to personally stop trying. I didn't think you were one to stop at 'this fucking sucks' either. It's why I'm here."
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timeasmymeasure
Re: This has been Action for forever lol
Date: 2018-06-05 02:33 pm (UTC)Jesus christ, what if she remembers Marcoh Amoretti?
The chill down his spine sobers him, and Togusa's whole body posture relaxes when he looks at Mariko again. Something has significantly spooked him.
"...That's not true." Quieter. "If I had a choice, I'd rather have you back than Gentiana. Retrospec- they don't know what they just unleashed on themselves by bringing you back. I've got no kind of, claim or whatever on Gentiana. She's her own woman, let her be. And if she came back, I might try to keep things the way they are too much."
"But I'm coping." His voice strengthens again. "If I were to let this go, just try to accept that I'll never get the answers? That's when I give up who I am. No, I don't have all the pieces, but that's why I keep collecting them. It's why I keep laying them out for you, or Tatsuo, or Ardyn, or a hundred people who might put it together better than me."
He runs that hand through his hair, floofing up the ends so they stick in every direction. "I'm not- trying to do this alone. But I am not going to personally stop trying. I didn't think you were one to stop at 'this fucking sucks' either. It's why I'm here."