standalonehuman | Recolle IC Inbox

That was his feeling. Not yours.

I know, simple words, you were the one that felt it. And it felt like you were the one having it. Same reason I feel guilty over the death of a man who never existed. It's hard to separate out. But if Prompto knows that moment and doesn't resent you for it, why resent yourself?

But, be honest with yourself. Is that really why you are expecting Prompto to tell you these things? Just driven out of guilt? To make up for something that someone else did?

Prompto doesn't know. I didn't tell him what I felt. /That/ man certainly didn't show it to him, in the memory. He smiled the whole time.

[Everyone has told him the same, though. Grell and Rosalind both. Now Togusa. He should feel better about it because of that, he knows he should.]

I care about his well-being, too, of course. And we've talked quite a bit, since Retrospec came into our lives. I expected that there was at least some level of bond between us that would compel him to /tell/ me about Retrospec sending him a gun.

[Haa ha, got you to admit it. Togusa smiles on his end.]

It's not to do with the bond between you. You've got a good relationship, but him, and Dante, and James, and I swear every other teenager I've been running into. They want to have any problem handled before they admit it to an adult. Had nobody that had their backs for so long, we're just ways to get into trouble, to them. More so me, I've got the double-authority-figure thing happening. But you too.

You can't take it personally. Eventually they'll figure out they can depend on us.

[Surprise, he's a sentimental fool. Togusa was right.]

I know you're right. And I know I should be patient. But worry and guilt intermingle and become /impatience/. And impatience becomes frustration.

I said this to Dante before, but I really am starting to feel like a very tired parent sometimes.

Yeah, it is way too late for the both of us. Talking to Matsuoka, how did I end up with five kids without having the fun part?

But I'd do anything for these idiots, even when they're idiots.

My ex was right all along, and I hope she never finds out.

Edited (.) 2017-07-25 20:50 (UTC)

[Okay, he has to laugh at that.]

A most unfortunate kind of mystery, indeed.

Right about what? That you'd find yourself caring for too many kids?

Her exact words when she broke off our engagement were that I just wanted a family, didn't matter who it was with. That I wasn't specifically looking to get married to her, I just wanted the marriage-kids-package-deal.

Little bit of truth there. But I'm not as mad about that thought as I was months ago.

I'm sorry to hear that. Grain of truth or otherwise, it's a rather harsh accusation to place upon someone. As if your wants could be simplified into such broad strokes.

That being said... I think it's a fine little "family" to have, if we must be responsible for one.

Well, if we're going to keep the family metaphor going, please don't run to Mom when Dad gets mad again? He's gonna be pissed at me when I message him, no matter how long I wait, because he asked you not to tell me and you did anyway.

I'll talk to him, but not on your behalf, you two have to talk to each other directly eventually.

Don't worry yourself, I don't expect for you to talk to him on my behalf. I'll handle it, eventually.

If he's angry, it's at me, not you. Whatever consolation that might provide.

Frankly? Damn right, he's angry at you. He asked you not to do something and you did it.

It still wasn't his choice for me to find out about this, so it looks like I'm butting in to something that isn't my business. Because I am. But I'm going to anyway.

And I simultaneously thank you and apologize for it. Good intentions, road to hell, etc.

Thank you.

I'll keep you updated about some other things. Doing a paperwork hunt this week.

What sort of paperwork hunt?

Internal one for starters. Since we've had a few more police incidents that should have had Retrospec's name attached to them, it's time to go back and look for the reports. A few people filed privacy violations complaints, and then there's been this month. So it's time to see if those reports are falling through the cracks.

And, just in case, even though the company name wasn't involved on it, I'll dig up what we got on that attempted art theft. If incriminating paperwork is disappearing, is Retrospec just covering their own asses, or ours, too?

In that case, if paperwork is just disappearing into nothingness, this may lend a clue to hunting down another potential employee that's working for them. Follow the trail, as it were. See if it leads to a dead end, or down the proverbial rabbit hole.

I can only hope you're right.

[Except for two days later, when Togusa messages him again, forgoing his usual caution.]

It's gone. It's all fucking gone. I am looking at a report I know I wrote, notes I took sitting right across from a teenager in that interrogation room, and any mention of Retrospec is just gone.

Edited (.) 2017-07-27 17:42 (UTC)

I wish I could say that I'm surprised, but I'm not. How easily they hide their tracks, making any evidence of their existence absolutely disappear.

After all, the same can be said of Maurice. There is no hide nor hair of him to be seen or heard of on campus, and I'd rather not continue my investigations for fear of turning too many heads.

Yeah, I was fine just looking for the privacy statements I took. Too minor, and those vanished altogether.

The art museum incident is still intact, we never mentioned the company, even though all of us were involved. So they're not just wiping the records about us clean altogether.

But an incident that Grell helped me with earlier this month? All the odd parts of the case are still there, any mention of Retrospec? Gone.

Same thing with the incident your brother was involved in, but I can't dig any deeper into that one, that's where I got caught. My favorite talking-to, the 'stop looking into things you're not involved in.'

And yet, according to the trend, anything mentioning Retrospec /there/ will be missing as well.

I don't think I need to tell you just how frustrating this actually is. What are we to do then? If our evidence keeps disappearing out from under our noses, or if there's never any to be found?

[He's a lawyer. Building a case, even if it's some sort of metaphorical self-satisfaction in trying to unravel the mystery, still requires evidence. There is a dearth of it all around.]

We need a person. This isn't going to stop until we find one of them. I don't think we need to start getting drastic about it. Yet. But now we know better where to focus our efforts.

In the meantime, I still keep going back to the photos. Prompto's on to something. Start taking everything in hard-copy. At least something needs to get disconnected from the tech.

Then we'll continue our search for a person, despite the fact they seem just as elusive as everything else.

As for photos, you might as well try. I would hope, at least, those are a bit more difficult to whisk away.

I don't know how much I want to spread this around.

We don't have an official investigation because we can't have one, but if people know that any reports are also meaningless, I worry they'll stop reporting anything to us. But is it better to let them think that we can do something that we can't? Frankly, it's accurate for people to lose their faith in us.

Still, even if it becomes known that the reports are becoming meaningless, the fact that there are officers still willing to help must mean something? In my eyes, it certainly does.

At this point, it's not our willingness I'm questioning. And I doubt it would be what comes to others' minds, either. It's our ability. How much good does it actually do to involve us, if this is the result?

Me, your brother. Matsuoka, Sakakura, Lou, Kadam. Even Kihara, even though he's not field. I know we're in this for the long haul. None of us would back away by choice. So the willingness is what people can count on.

Maybe I really need to talk this over with them.

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Fast-forward because holy shit I got my answer

good timing bc i got a response about maurice too

Re: good timing bc i got a response about maurice too

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