standalonehuman | Recolle IC Inbox

Togusa briefly looks conflicted, but he has to charge ahead and explain more fully. He shakes his head. "It's everything that's missing, everything that being able to fight that well suggests that bothers me. It takes time and training to get that good." He looks back up at Dante. "Even you, that takes dedication to be able to use a sword that well. At your age."

"I can't shoot as well as, say, Fynn, because I didn't pick up guns early. But I'm catching up. James doesn't have to catch up. Because he's already put the time in. By age 16."

"What the hell kind of world is Retrospec showing him where that needs to be necessary? Who decided that so many people's childhoods were better spent learning to shoot and swing a sword and so many other things that I haven't even come up with yet? Because this keeps happening. This whole thing is one long trail of lost childhoods, and it makes me sick to really think about. But I can't ignore it."

"What makes you so sure we lost our childhoods?" Dante shakes his head, disagreeing. "I don't know what your memories have shown you, but mine have been different periods of time. When he's on the island with his friends, he's younger than I am--at least, I think he is. He's shorter and it just feels like I don't know as much as I do in other memories. But I remember going in and out of the simulation of that city, and I'm taller. I've got broader shoulders. I feel older. Nobody said we're remembering these things at the same age we were when they actually happened, you know."

Now he's lying, and it's in classic Dante fashion. Because he's shorter and slighter when he's inside Castle Oblivion, when he kidnaps that princess and when he's so certain he died. He's shorter and slighter when he closes himself in side this world of darkness he's remembered, an afterworld that must somehow have a passage of time, since he remembers himself later on, taller and broader and with that underlying sense of regret. Yes, he might be remembering things from a wide span of time, but that doesn't negate what it is that Togusa's saying, that they were kids when all of this began.

But he also can't let Togusa's opinion of their apparent lost childhoods prevent them from learning as much as they can about their pasts, either; and neither can he let that be a reason why they shouldn't utilize the skills they're being given.

Togusa thinks he has such a good read on Dante by this point that he doesn't question it. He nods along slowly, until a sharp frown comes to his face. "How can people be remembering things from later in their lives?" It's a more comforting idea, by far, but his mind briefly rebels at it.

"If that's true, then I'm right, and these are memories of another lifetime entirely. It's not us." And the fact that the concept backs up that idea is probably why Togusa hinges on it so much. "It's still- not the easiest thing to see. But maybe better. Maybe James was a cop, or a soldier, the other version of him learned it all later in life. It still isn't fair to shove that on someone so young."

But there's a relaxation in Togusa's shoulders. "But I'm willing to admit I'm being unfair about this. I just still can't find a good reason for it in my mind."

"The prof suggested reincarnation," Dante offers--it's the idea that he's held onto this whole time, because if it's true, then it gives all of this some sort of structure, some sort of sense. He doesn't want it to be at random, like he and Alison have discussed; accepting some sort of supernatural influence like reincarnation is strangely comforting.

He's satisfied to see Togusa's shoulders relax slightly. It's a step in the right direction, even if he doesn't think Togusa will be happy to see them running into combat any time soon. "It is pretty unfair," he says, careful with his tone of voice. Not too pointed, as he doesn't want to turn this into any sort of argument right now, but neither is he neutral either. It would be strange for him not to have an opinion here! "You're trying to make all of these decisions but you're not even taking what we want into consideration. According to the law I'm old enough to choose to enlist in the military and fight and die for this country. I'm old enough to decide whether I want to know the truth about what I'm learning, too. And so are the rest of us. We know there's a risk of remembering something bad. But you need to have faith in us, too."

Togusa is still just a little resistant, and shakes his head. "I've- started getting evidence that maybe what I'm seeing? Other Togusa is from the future. Reincarnation working backwards?"

"I do have faith in you guys," Togusa says quietly. "Would have more faith if Prompto could go a month without going to the hospital," a weak attempt at a joke. "Somehow it just feels like you're getting it even heavier than us adults."

"I'll- try to back off." Reluctant. It's hard for him to even talk about doing so. "If. I can trust you guys to actually ask for my help when you need it. Which is what this is for," Togusa waves a hand to indicate where they are and why they're talking right now. "So okay."

There's a ghost of a laugh on Dante's face when Togusa makes the (admittedly bad) joke about Prompto going to the hospital--it's bad, but it's also true; the guy's a little bit of a walking disaster (not that Dante's much better). But it's swept away soon enough, because they're on a serious track right now and he doesn't want to derail it.

"Maybe it seems like we're getting it worse because we're going out and doing more," Dante points out. "I remembered fighting, so I looked for someone who could help me try and see if I could trigger myself into remembering more about it. Prompto wanted to see if he could trigger some sort of flash so we took a night to try and do that. We're trying to learn more." Kind of. He could do without, honestly.

He relents a little bit with Togusa's acceptance. "Nobody's asking you to like it. But it's hard to want to talk to someone about things when you know all they're going to do is get pissed off over them."

He wants to keep Togusa in the loop. The information they've shared has been helpful, and it's nice to know he can ask him about things sometimes. But the constant repetition of how much he dislikes the memories Dante's remembering only makes him want to keep quiet about them.

Togusa sighs, and his frustration is all aimed at himself. "I'm not pissed off at you. Or Prompto, or anybody. You can't help what you're seeing. It's just getting angrier at Retrospec. But that's not helping, either, is it?" It's hard not to get angry, but there it is.

"I'll listen. I'll listen better. Remind you all that it's not you. That's what's been helping other people." Koutarou. In a way, Ardyn.

"I'm not chasing it and I'm not going to. I don't know if I can stop myself from trying to make sense of the things I do see, anyway." He's already fallen into that trap a few times. "But I won't stand in your way of trying to figure it out."

Recolle IC Inbox

no subject

no subject

GODS DAMN IT DANTE STOP BEING A SHIT

NEVER

DX

no subject

no subject