standalonehuman | Recolle IC Inbox

The worry comes right back when Lucian says that, and Togusa looks at him in slight alarm. "I suppose you're right, there would be a lot of other changes you'd need to go through before you could fly, reasonably." But he looks him over, as if trying to see what else is wrong with him.

The kettle whistles, and Togusa picks it up off the stove. He comes over with two teacups and the tea that Lucian brought, sets the whole tray down on his coffee table.

"I can get you anything else you need," he smiles lightly, then settles into his own chair.

"Can I ask, what else is wrong with your health? Is it anything you need help with?" Quiet concern, because sometimes doctors can be strange about maintaining their own health, even as they focus on other people's.

[ There's the obvious question of aerodynamics, for example. Lucian may be light for his age and frame, but that certainly isn't light enough to propel him up in the air. ]

Thank you.

[ He tilts his head when Togusa comes over. It's a lot of hospitality, and there's a certain comfort in it - stability, despite what has happened the past few months. ]

I have to admit, I may have overworked myself the past month or so. [ Lucian leans back, sighing a little. ] My energy is not the same. I closed my clinic for a few days during the miniature episode, but I loath to extend it. There's still so much work to do.

[ He closes his eyes, deciding to offer some information that he would have kept to himself if it was anyone else. ]

I was born with a blood-related illness. If I become injured, it takes longer to heal, thus my caution. However, it does not seem to extend to these. [ Motioning to his wings. ] I fell once, but they bled gold instead of red. Have they become so adept as to graft foreign matter onto a human without rejection? Or am I becoming a bit senile instead...

Well, it's always intimating for an officer of the law to suddenly contact you without warning, right?

Togusa's expression softens, the quiet worry that comes when someone explains a problem that it's difficult, or not impossible, to help them with. It's just something they have to live with. Togusa starts to mutter something in Japanese, then corrects himself, "Hemophilia? Or something like it? I'm sorry." Not said in a pitying way, though.

Togusa ponders something as he picks up his cup of tea, swirling it to cool it off. "You said your specialty was hemotology," he nods, some of the dots starting to connect about Lucian. "I didn't realize it was personally motivated."

Togusa's gaze can't help but look back to those wings. Bleeding gold? How is any of this possible? "If you're becoming senile already, then we're all doomed," Togusa shakes his head. "You're still young."

[ It's rare that Lucian talks about himself to other people, made even more so by the passing of his only living family. While he did have friends, he was never the type to trouble them with his own worries. Most of them could be easily solved by his own power, so there was no need for it.

Not this one, though. ]

Yes. Do not be sorry, it is simply the lot that I had drawn in life. One learns to cope with it.

[ He counts himself lucky that he has a mild version of the disease. His mother not so much; she bled to death. ]

You are right, I am not that old yet. [ Lucian looks out and away into the middle distance. He feels much older though, with his hair already white. Years of traveling had consumed much of his stamina. ] Perhaps I am overthinking things again, but - since our last conversation, I have had more visions. I fear they may be connected.

[ A pause, as he thinks of how best to tell it. ]

I had not allowed myself to believe that our visions were of a past life. However, I had seen people with wings that looked like these. One cannot help wonder... if the reincarnation theory is correct, then I must be from another place.

I don't know, I've always hoped Prompto sees me as a friend first, officer second. But he and other people do keep just putting their feet in their mouths around me anyway, so maybe it's a hard thing to shake?

Togusa still looks surprised, but maybe less surprised than the last time Lucian mentioned this theory. It's a little more credible when you're looking at a man with wings. "A reincarnation from another planet altogether? It sounds incredible. You said," Togusa needs a second to remember, quite a few people have been telling him about their memories, in an attempt to trigger something Togusa would recognize. "A city of marble, speaking a language that you knew, but you didn't recognize. You think it was something not from Earth, then?"

Togusa looks down into his tea, briefly. "There's also an old folk story of the Tengu. Spirits that can conceal themselves, but their true forms have characteristics of birds. They are protectors, and teachers, of a sort. They'll hide their forms, and present some sort of a test to Buddhist monks or martial artists. Usually a test of their pride. If they pass, the Tengu will teach them an important lesson or take them in as a student. And if they fail, well, then you get the usual spirit curses from out of those stories."

"But it's just old stories my grandmother told me."

Hmm. Togusa nods a little, "We can check at the park, too, then, if the address doesn't turn up anything." He pulls off from the curb and starts to drive.

"Luke is kind of an adventurous kid, anyway. I get the feeling he's not the type to sit at home, even before any memory changes. It was hard to tell him 'no, you can't investigate things' because I was certain that telling him no was going to mean he would do it anyway and just not tell anyone where he was going."

Togusa knows the University well, slipping through a few back roads to skip some traffic lights as he winds through the buildings. "That's why he ended up in there with you, hunh?" He glances at Tim. He doesn't mean to make him feel guilty for bringing someone so young along with him, but now Togusa knows why Tim was trying to protect the identity of whoever had helped him out.

[ Lucian listens without touching his tea at all, eyes half-lidded and mind deep in thought. ]

That could be possible. [ Who knows what even is impossible now? ] However, the people there gave me more of the impression of angels.

[ He has never talked about religion with Togusa before, so he's not sure what kind of faith the other has. Lucian himself is atheist, so he naturally didn't put a lot of faith in angels being what they were in the scripture. ]

When I had that vision, the angel was speaking of guiding humanity. I would assume that there are humans in that world, but they do not seem to be the people of this world.

[ What does it mean? What does it all mean? Does it even matter? ]

Do you believe in justice, my friend?

In truth, Togusa thinks of himself as more spiritual than strictly religious. He certainly paid attention to the stories from back home, he likes the idea of the ancestors guiding your current actions. But the idea of past lives is meant to be an encouragement, rather than a burden. Honor the ancestors, because you would not be who you are today without them. Do not let their memory weigh you down.

He listens to Lucian's tale, guiding humanity? It could apply to either idea, the Western angels, or the Eastern guardian spirits of the land. It's fascinating, but Lucian doesn't seem to have any better idea of what it means.

Togusa blinks in surprise at Lucian's last question. "Of course," he answers immediately. Okay, maybe he should elaborate. "I mean, it's why I have the job I do. To help along the course of law and justice, there's- not much better to believe in." Congratulations, Lucian, you hit on one of the most guiding principles of Togusa's life.

"Why do you ask?"

[ He had expected something similar, given that Togusa is a police officer. In part, the question wasn't really a legitimate question at all - it served the purpose of a lead-in while he tries to figure out how best to phrase it. ]

In one of the visions, I stood in the place of someone else. He promised a woman that the criminals preying on her family would be brought to justice. There was a conviction in that person's thoughts that felt as if he had absolute confidence in himself.

[ Still hanging on to the possibility that he was just a passenger in some memory that ultimately did not belong to him. ]

Injustice is one of the few things I cannot stand for. It seems to confirm that I am indeed seeing the memories of my past self, as it were. However, I am not quite sure what use this knowledge will have. I may have wings, but - I am just a mundane person.

[ He probably didn't make much sense, but. ]

If this was a novel, the author might have penned that this was the moment that I awaken to my true calling. But it only seems like some sort of joke.

Instead of being worried for his friend, a gentle smile settles onto Togusa's face. "It's a good feeling, isn't it? I'll admit that's another good thing about the job. When you can see injustice, but you can look someone in the eye and promise that it'll get better. Because you're in a position to do something about it?"

"If that's what you remember, that's the part that wouldn't surprise me. With wings or not, that fits with your personality. And even inside the more fantastical trappings, everyone is noting moments that ring true to what they know about themselves."

He glances up at Lucian cautiously. "In a way, it's what you're doing with your current role in life. You found an injustice, albeit a biological one. One that affects you personally, and you want to try to set it right. Through research instead of the law. Biological justice. It's an interesting idea."

[ There's a moment of pause as Lucian lets it sink in, and then his expression resolves into a slight smile. ]

Ah, I have not thought of it that way. [ See, it's always good to get someone else's perspective. ] I suppose you're right.

[ His countenance soon goes back to being serious, though. ]

I still have a lot of work to do before I can make a difference.

"I could tell," he agrees. About Luke. "He was already going to the Retrospec building when he ran up on me the first time. I recruited him for madlibs since the building wouldn't open otherwise.

"He seemed really curious, and he was eager for us to go back again to see what happened to the building." He's hoping he didn't get Luke into any kind of unnecessary danger.

"I--know he was young and all." Tim doesn't follow up with anything for a moment, then he adds, "But I would've been the same way at his age. I was. And Retrospec--the building--didn't seem to be doing anything dangerous."

Togusa shakes his head, he's quick to try to calm Tim's anxieties. "It wasn't dangerous, not really. Even when that place was affecting us, it wasn't anything that hurt us. I ran into him when he was trying to check the building out once. I couldn't talk him out of it."

"He was safe with us. And if Retrospec was going to get retributive about what we're doing? They'd start with someone else." Like the two people in this car.

Togusa lets the silence stretch on for a few moments as he drives. "Or maybe not. Who knows who Retrospec was trying to tell Luke he really was. I keep running into people way too young," he nods towards Tim, "your age, younger, who are getting really violent memories. Monsters and fighting. Feels like Retrospec's trying to convince half the city that they're child soldiers." Togusa's grip on the wheel tightens. "If they've let Luke go, maybe that's better for him."

There's a little relief when Togusa sees that his words are helping. Maybe it is a different way to look at it, but it can get through to him. "Now that's a familiar feeling, too. You have to know how much you can personally make a difference."

"Put a criminal at a time behind bars," he gestures to Lucian, "help one patient at a time. When you can remember the people you've helped, it puts everything back into scale." He raises his cup of tea in a slight salute.

[ It's rare that he gets told the same things that he tells others, but he supposes it was bound to come back to him anyway. ]

Thank you. [ Lucian raises his own teacup in response. ]I often forget that pushing oneself is not conducive to work. I used to be able to run a field unit. Old thought processes die hard.

[ He retired for a reason, and that was to focus on taking care of a small numer of people. ]

But would they really start with someone else besides the innocent, Togusa? is what Tim wants to ask, though he keeps the words bottled in his throat for now.

Like the two people in this car. Absolutely.

(DON'T JUST SAY, "OR MAYBE NOT"!) Tim gives Togusa the hint of a worried look out of the corner of his eye without turning his head. "Maybe we are," Tim concedes quietly. "Maybe we're all sleeper agents, and Retrospec is going to utilize us to overthrow some kind of alien organization.

"Or, you know, maybe we're the aliens and we're going to infiltrate and overthrow the government." Okay. Seriously. He admonished Conner so much for this kind of crazy bullshit, and here he is entertaining the same ideas because they don't sound quite so far-fetched anymore.

Togusa rolls his eyes and gives Tim a slightly admonishing look. He'd expected more out of him. "It's easy to get caught up in completely wild fantasies when there's a piece of the problem out of our control. One part doesn't make sense, so to try to make it more manageable, the entire problem has to be ludicrous. It all has to be too big for is to solve, so we dont have to worry about feeling powerless to stop it."

"Better to keep your eyes open, see what parts of this we can change, one thing at a time. At the end of the day, there will be people behind all this. Just people. And we can make them answer for what they've done."

Togusa turns the car in to the entrance to the park. "But it takes a lot of little steps to get there. One thing you can help. Which, today, means checking up on a kid and making sure that he's safe." He pulls the car into a space and looks at Tim more fully. "Dont lose sight of the big picture. We're doing this to see what Retrospec's long goal is. But dont let it overwhelm you, either. Okay?"

Color Togusa curious, as he leans back in his seat a little. "Field unit? You were military?" That part is actually the surprise, maybe even more so than the appearance of wings on the man.

"Ah-" Togusa puts out a hand, "if it's not prying to ask, that is." Too late, he realizes that the reason he might not have thought Lucian was ex-military is that the man doesn't want to talk about his experience.

[ Togusa has always been polite and respectful; the main reason that Lucian trusts him enough to come to him with this sort of concerns. As a rule he rarely spoke of his past work, but this time he can make an exception. ]

I do not mind. [ He shakes his head slightly, his hair mirroring the movement. ] I was not in the military. I was involved with Médecins Sans Frontières for a time when I was younger. With them, I served in disaster and war zones.

[ The fact that he pronounces the name without any slip is a testament to how much he respects the organization. ]

I retired due to health reasons. [ Said plainly, as if stating a fact - which he was. ] Try not to pay too much heed to this - it is not something important.

Don't be condescending with him just because he had a momentary lapse in logic, Togusa! He's sixteen and half the kids his age, including his best friend, thinks some kind of supernatural or extraterrestrial conspiracy is afoot.

"You say there will be people, but I'm not so sure," Tim murmurs doubtfully. He's still on about Jim et al being programs, though he's not sure whether that means people have created them, or whether they have learned to create themselves.

Tim's eyes find Togusa's face and hold it. "Okay," even if he doesn't so readily agree deep down. Too much doesn't make sense. He's sure Retrospec is doing it to overwhelm them on purpose.

Or maybe there really had been a mess up, and now Jim and the rest are trying to get it under control when it doesn't seem to be going so well.

"Let's see how Luke is doing."

Togusa is already expecting a little bit more out of some of them. Tim, Naoto, James, Souji, even Dante, are all getting quietly held to a slightly higher standard. With Tim's skill level, it's unfortunately easy for Togusa to forget his age. The way to combat that is to keep running into him in person, and not let him become a name behind a screen. But oh boy, does that sound like Tim's favorite thing to do.

Togusa nods, and he gets out of the car. The park is pretty busy, but he knows the place well. Togusa and his dog are regulars here. Togusa looks around at the area before he starts to move. Luke is at that weird in-between age, where it's harder to predict what he'd be spending his time doing. Maybe not the playground, but the bike trails or the baseball field?

"Where did he have you meet, last time?" Togusa glances at Tim.

Quietly, Tim follows Togusa out of the car and loops around the front to meet up with the man on the other side. He, too, takes a quick inventory of the place.

Luke seemed older for his age. Tim thinks, if anything, it would be somewhere not the playground with other children. He looks back at Togusa finally.

"We met at--" Tim pauses to remember. "An animal. No, animals. The penguin statues. That's where he said he wanted to meet, and then we would walk to the Retrospec building to get up with Micah."

Togusa can only hope that he's been able to express the respect he has for Lucian. He's a very knowledgeable and kind man, who has skill in a field that Togusa knows he would never even be able to approach. So he listens carefully. It takes him an extra second to run the term Lucian uses through double-translation (French to Japanese to English- oh!), and then he smiles in understanding. Oh, of course Lucian wasn't in the military, he wouldn't have been accepted with a blood condition. Togusa mentally kicks himself for his thoughtlessness there.

He sympathetically nods when Lucian finishes. "I understand. It was quite a risk, but you undoubtedly did a lot of good going where you were needed."

"And I suppose that also answers my next question which would have been how did you end up here? After a few years doing that, anyone would want to spend their time somewhere quieter. There are plenty of us who are grateful that you did."

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