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[standalonehuman]

Togusa

This is Togusa. Feel free to message me at any time.

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[accordance]

[ It's rare that Lucian talks about himself to other people, made even more so by the passing of his only living family. While he did have friends, he was never the type to trouble them with his own worries. Most of them could be easily solved by his own power, so there was no need for it.

Not this one, though. ]

Yes. Do not be sorry, it is simply the lot that I had drawn in life. One learns to cope with it.

[ He counts himself lucky that he has a mild version of the disease. His mother not so much; she bled to death. ]

You are right, I am not that old yet. [ Lucian looks out and away into the middle distance. He feels much older though, with his hair already white. Years of traveling had consumed much of his stamina. ] Perhaps I am overthinking things again, but - since our last conversation, I have had more visions. I fear they may be connected.

[ A pause, as he thinks of how best to tell it. ]

I had not allowed myself to believe that our visions were of a past life. However, I had seen people with wings that looked like these. One cannot help wonder... if the reincarnation theory is correct, then I must be from another place.

[standalonehuman]

Togusa still looks surprised, but maybe less surprised than the last time Lucian mentioned this theory. It's a little more credible when you're looking at a man with wings. "A reincarnation from another planet altogether? It sounds incredible. You said," Togusa needs a second to remember, quite a few people have been telling him about their memories, in an attempt to trigger something Togusa would recognize. "A city of marble, speaking a language that you knew, but you didn't recognize. You think it was something not from Earth, then?"

Togusa looks down into his tea, briefly. "There's also an old folk story of the Tengu. Spirits that can conceal themselves, but their true forms have characteristics of birds. They are protectors, and teachers, of a sort. They'll hide their forms, and present some sort of a test to Buddhist monks or martial artists. Usually a test of their pride. If they pass, the Tengu will teach them an important lesson or take them in as a student. And if they fail, well, then you get the usual spirit curses from out of those stories."

"But it's just old stories my grandmother told me."

[accordance]

[ Lucian listens without touching his tea at all, eyes half-lidded and mind deep in thought. ]

That could be possible. [ Who knows what even is impossible now? ] However, the people there gave me more of the impression of angels.

[ He has never talked about religion with Togusa before, so he's not sure what kind of faith the other has. Lucian himself is atheist, so he naturally didn't put a lot of faith in angels being what they were in the scripture. ]

When I had that vision, the angel was speaking of guiding humanity. I would assume that there are humans in that world, but they do not seem to be the people of this world.

[ What does it mean? What does it all mean? Does it even matter? ]

Do you believe in justice, my friend?

[standalonehuman]

In truth, Togusa thinks of himself as more spiritual than strictly religious. He certainly paid attention to the stories from back home, he likes the idea of the ancestors guiding your current actions. But the idea of past lives is meant to be an encouragement, rather than a burden. Honor the ancestors, because you would not be who you are today without them. Do not let their memory weigh you down.

He listens to Lucian's tale, guiding humanity? It could apply to either idea, the Western angels, or the Eastern guardian spirits of the land. It's fascinating, but Lucian doesn't seem to have any better idea of what it means.

Togusa blinks in surprise at Lucian's last question. "Of course," he answers immediately. Okay, maybe he should elaborate. "I mean, it's why I have the job I do. To help along the course of law and justice, there's- not much better to believe in." Congratulations, Lucian, you hit on one of the most guiding principles of Togusa's life.

"Why do you ask?"

[accordance]

[ He had expected something similar, given that Togusa is a police officer. In part, the question wasn't really a legitimate question at all - it served the purpose of a lead-in while he tries to figure out how best to phrase it. ]

In one of the visions, I stood in the place of someone else. He promised a woman that the criminals preying on her family would be brought to justice. There was a conviction in that person's thoughts that felt as if he had absolute confidence in himself.

[ Still hanging on to the possibility that he was just a passenger in some memory that ultimately did not belong to him. ]

Injustice is one of the few things I cannot stand for. It seems to confirm that I am indeed seeing the memories of my past self, as it were. However, I am not quite sure what use this knowledge will have. I may have wings, but - I am just a mundane person.

[ He probably didn't make much sense, but. ]

If this was a novel, the author might have penned that this was the moment that I awaken to my true calling. But it only seems like some sort of joke.

[standalonehuman]

Instead of being worried for his friend, a gentle smile settles onto Togusa's face. "It's a good feeling, isn't it? I'll admit that's another good thing about the job. When you can see injustice, but you can look someone in the eye and promise that it'll get better. Because you're in a position to do something about it?"

"If that's what you remember, that's the part that wouldn't surprise me. With wings or not, that fits with your personality. And even inside the more fantastical trappings, everyone is noting moments that ring true to what they know about themselves."

He glances up at Lucian cautiously. "In a way, it's what you're doing with your current role in life. You found an injustice, albeit a biological one. One that affects you personally, and you want to try to set it right. Through research instead of the law. Biological justice. It's an interesting idea."

[accordance]

[ There's a moment of pause as Lucian lets it sink in, and then his expression resolves into a slight smile. ]

Ah, I have not thought of it that way. [ See, it's always good to get someone else's perspective. ] I suppose you're right.

[ His countenance soon goes back to being serious, though. ]

I still have a lot of work to do before I can make a difference.

[standalonehuman]

There's a little relief when Togusa sees that his words are helping. Maybe it is a different way to look at it, but it can get through to him. "Now that's a familiar feeling, too. You have to know how much you can personally make a difference."

"Put a criminal at a time behind bars," he gestures to Lucian, "help one patient at a time. When you can remember the people you've helped, it puts everything back into scale." He raises his cup of tea in a slight salute.

[accordance]

[ It's rare that he gets told the same things that he tells others, but he supposes it was bound to come back to him anyway. ]

Thank you. [ Lucian raises his own teacup in response. ]I often forget that pushing oneself is not conducive to work. I used to be able to run a field unit. Old thought processes die hard.

[ He retired for a reason, and that was to focus on taking care of a small numer of people. ]

[standalonehuman]

Color Togusa curious, as he leans back in his seat a little. "Field unit? You were military?" That part is actually the surprise, maybe even more so than the appearance of wings on the man.

"Ah-" Togusa puts out a hand, "if it's not prying to ask, that is." Too late, he realizes that the reason he might not have thought Lucian was ex-military is that the man doesn't want to talk about his experience.

[accordance]

[ Togusa has always been polite and respectful; the main reason that Lucian trusts him enough to come to him with this sort of concerns. As a rule he rarely spoke of his past work, but this time he can make an exception. ]

I do not mind. [ He shakes his head slightly, his hair mirroring the movement. ] I was not in the military. I was involved with Médecins Sans Frontières for a time when I was younger. With them, I served in disaster and war zones.

[ The fact that he pronounces the name without any slip is a testament to how much he respects the organization. ]

I retired due to health reasons. [ Said plainly, as if stating a fact - which he was. ] Try not to pay too much heed to this - it is not something important.

[standalonehuman]

Togusa can only hope that he's been able to express the respect he has for Lucian. He's a very knowledgeable and kind man, who has skill in a field that Togusa knows he would never even be able to approach. So he listens carefully. It takes him an extra second to run the term Lucian uses through double-translation (French to Japanese to English- oh!), and then he smiles in understanding. Oh, of course Lucian wasn't in the military, he wouldn't have been accepted with a blood condition. Togusa mentally kicks himself for his thoughtlessness there.

He sympathetically nods when Lucian finishes. "I understand. It was quite a risk, but you undoubtedly did a lot of good going where you were needed."

"And I suppose that also answers my next question which would have been how did you end up here? After a few years doing that, anyone would want to spend their time somewhere quieter. There are plenty of us who are grateful that you did."

[accordance]

[ A risk it was indeed. While doctors were not expected to enter crossfires zones, he held the position of not only a doctor but also a surgeon. A surgeon with a blood disease would be fine if they had a safe, stable work environment; but alas those did not exist in war zones.

A bomb had set off near the field hospital, and he ended up stabbing himself with a scalpel. It did not end well. ]

Every doctor struggles with the concept of 'what if I did a little more'. I was talked into leaving, but I did not want to stop helping people. As you've said to me - one life touched is one life saved. I suppose it takes decades of service for doctors to fully accept that.

[ It had also been said in a memory of his. ]

Friends like you are the ones keeping us grounded. Each doctor did not do great things on their own. Others help them, so it all pays forward.

[standalonehuman]

"I-" Togusa looks down, slightly embarrassed, because it's rare that someone other than Koutarou comes right out and compliments him like that. "Thank you. If there is anything I can do to help, you know I'd want to."

"It's fascinating to think of the difference between research and service. It's almost like the debate that took me between law versus police work. You can potentially help a whole lot of people at once, your choices can be more wide-spread in research, specifically, just like behind a law bench."

"But then you can lose track of the people that you're helping, and I prefer the smaller scope." He smiles. "I'd rather see the people I'm helping one at a time."

[accordance]

[ Lucian is always honest with the people he appreciates. ]

Then in this way, we think the same.

[ He could have retired entirely. But for a man with no living family, his service is all he has. ]

Thank you, for listening to an old man ramble.

[standalonehuman]

Togusa smiles again with a small laugh. "You can't count as old. It's the mileage, not the years. You still have a lot ahead of you."

But, well, back to the not-elephant in the room. Togusa lets his gaze drift back to Lucian's wings. A strange thing to get used to, but they are easy to ignore if you let yourself. "Is there anything I can do to help you? You seem to be coping well, despite everything."

[accordance]

[ He considers himself old, because he's done far too many things in his youth. A compression of experience over time, as it were - and his health is no longer as good as before. ]

Just this conversation helps greatly. It is an inconvenience as of now, and I intend to analyze it to see what exactly it's made of.

[ He copes well because he's used to logical thinking. ]

[standalonehuman]

Togusa nods gently. He knows there's only so much he can do to help someone else carry their burdens. "Well. I know your door is always open, if something happens. So consider my door always open, in return. Either here or at the Department, whatever you need." Although Togusa is more sure that Lucian would need his help as a friend more than he would need it as an officer.

"Even if it's just a good cup of tea and a dog to pet." Daisuke has gotten so comfortable he is gently dozing on the couch now.

[accordance]

[ That's all one needs, really. A listening ear, some tea, the balm for all troubles. ]

Your companion is a good one.

[ He should probably stop petting the dog since he's asleep. ]

Could you tell me about him?

[standalonehuman]

Togusa perks up. This is one of his favorite subjects. "Daisuke? Oh, he's great. I got him from the shelter in February. The owner thinks Daisuke is about 4?" Sometimes hard to tell exact age with shelter dogs.

"It was getting a little too lonely around here. He's been just who I needed. He's got a slight problem with his front paw." Togusa holds up his left hand, and flexes his wrist back and forth. "Dog version of an ankle, so far as I understand it. Doesn't want to flex all the way back so it's a little awkward for him to put full weight on that paw. It always looks like he's limping, but he gets around just fine."

"I help him out anyway." There are small carpet-covered blocks near the couch and chair, something just tall enough to be a good set of doggie steps, so Daisuke can follow Togusa around.

[accordance]

[ The fact that Togusa chose to adopt instead of buy a pet shows enough about his character, in Lucian's opinion. ]

I'm sure he's very happy with you.

[ People of justice tend to be kinder, too. ]

[standalonehuman]

Togusa can't help but smile fondly at the dog. "He seems it. It was just getting a little empty here. I'll be the first to admit I was lonely." He shakes his head a little.

"But I was looking for a friend that other people might overlook. Not the really energetic puppies." Togusa's eyebrows raise. "Although they're adorable. But I wanted a dog I could help."

"He just kind of gave me this look," Togusa tries to mimic an expectant expression. "Well? We're going home now, right? I couldn't resist."

[accordance]

[ That gets a chuckle out of him, though it's slight, as befit his lack of displayed intense emotion. ]

Were you a resident of Recolle for long?

[ It's a question borne out of idle curiosity, more than anything else. ]

[standalonehuman]

"I came here for college," Togusa automatically starts. "And I just stuck around afterwards, so.." His eyebrows raise. "Oh wow, I hadn't thought about that in a while. It's going to be ten years in August."

There's a slow smile that spreads across his face. "Ten years. It just flies by, hunh? It still feels like I just got here, some of the time."

we can wrap this up soon? :D

[accordance]

[ That's twice the amount he's spent here. ]

Time flies like an arrow. But Recolle is a good place to live in, with its peace and beauty.

[ He's been to many other places which are much less pleasant. ]