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Do not be alarmed, he says. This has been a week for the record books for Togusa's sense of reality and strangeness. Floating sentient talking rabbits. Waking up only a few centimeters tall. Not to mention all of the attacks by giant spiders. But nope. Alarmed isn't the correct word for it, but he is very impolitely staring at the new strangest thing he has ever seen. "I....."

"...does it hurt?" When he can finally think again, the first thing that makes it through is a quiet concern for his friend.

[ Lucian's expression had become pinched, but he relaxes upon seeing that his friend would not respond to him with fear. ]

It does not. It is a strange phenomenon... I cannot explain it.

[ There's a moment's pause before he unfurls them, showing off more of the feathers. They appear to be similar to swan wings, pure white - yet there's a sot of geometric oddness to them. ]

Please do not pay them too much attention.

Togusa immediately feels bad for staring, but it's difficult not to. They're beautiful, in a way, but it's still a hard concept to wrap his head around. Why would he suddenly have wings?

Togusa steps back, and he gestures towards the couch, then hesitates, "Or, I suppose, wherever would be most comfortable?"

This is all still terribly confusing, which means that of course Daisuke decides this is the moment to come up and see what's going on. A small white miniature schnauzer very calmly trots up and sniffs at Lucian just like he would at any other guest. Togusa has to hold back a laugh. "Ah- Lucian, this is Daisuke. Daisuke, Dr. Lucian." Maybe he should be taking tips from the dog.

[ It's one of the reasons why he's sought Togusa's company, at least. ]

I can sit.

[ By angling his wings in a particular manner, they won't get in the way. ]

Ah, it is a pleasure to meet you. [ Directed towards Daisuke - perhaps not a very eager pooch, but not a hostile one either. ] You have quite the attentive companion.

Daisuke lets out a quiet 'boof' and as soon as Togusa and Lucian sit, he follows them right up onto the couch. There is a small carpet-covered block that he hops up onto, and from there bounces onto the couch. He rolls right up against Lucian's leg and rests his head on him. Togusa has to quietly chuckle as he moves into the kitchen area to start making the tea.

"Was it like what I experienced?" Togusa has to ask. Worry is starting to creep out of his voice, replaced with curiosity. "You just woke up with them?" At least, then, maybe he didn't feel the change happen.

[ Daisuke certainly is friendly, so Lucian tries to pet him with one hand. As long as the dog is comfortable, he'll continue doing it. ]

Yes. I did try to check my back, it seems they are firmly anchored there and unremovable. As I was sleeping on my back, I doubt a person had placed them there.

[ So they just poofed into existence. ]

Daisuke stays right where Lucian can keep petting him. He's a low-key dog, doesn't get very hyperactive, but just likes to follow people around. So he'll stay right here in his slice of doggy heaven.

Togusa puts his hands on his hips and watches the water as he has to think about his next question. These words are ridiculous, but he will ask anyway. "Have you tried them out?" He shakes his head. "This is ludicrous, but after this past week?"

"So, can you fly?"

[ Togusa is not the first person to have asked this question. ]

I am... not very sure.

[ It's a serious question, and would have given data, but he has his reservations. He looks thoughtful, resting one hand on his lap since Daisuke occupied the attention of his other hand and he cannot steeple his fingers. ]

I do not seem to have given the knowledge of how to fly, if it can be called thus. Flying seems to involve specific techniques that I do not have yet. I would try to fly, except that my health is not as good as before. I would not want to injure myself in the process.

The worry comes right back when Lucian says that, and Togusa looks at him in slight alarm. "I suppose you're right, there would be a lot of other changes you'd need to go through before you could fly, reasonably." But he looks him over, as if trying to see what else is wrong with him.

The kettle whistles, and Togusa picks it up off the stove. He comes over with two teacups and the tea that Lucian brought, sets the whole tray down on his coffee table.

"I can get you anything else you need," he smiles lightly, then settles into his own chair.

"Can I ask, what else is wrong with your health? Is it anything you need help with?" Quiet concern, because sometimes doctors can be strange about maintaining their own health, even as they focus on other people's.

[ There's the obvious question of aerodynamics, for example. Lucian may be light for his age and frame, but that certainly isn't light enough to propel him up in the air. ]

Thank you.

[ He tilts his head when Togusa comes over. It's a lot of hospitality, and there's a certain comfort in it - stability, despite what has happened the past few months. ]

I have to admit, I may have overworked myself the past month or so. [ Lucian leans back, sighing a little. ] My energy is not the same. I closed my clinic for a few days during the miniature episode, but I loath to extend it. There's still so much work to do.

[ He closes his eyes, deciding to offer some information that he would have kept to himself if it was anyone else. ]

I was born with a blood-related illness. If I become injured, it takes longer to heal, thus my caution. However, it does not seem to extend to these. [ Motioning to his wings. ] I fell once, but they bled gold instead of red. Have they become so adept as to graft foreign matter onto a human without rejection? Or am I becoming a bit senile instead...

Togusa's expression softens, the quiet worry that comes when someone explains a problem that it's difficult, or not impossible, to help them with. It's just something they have to live with. Togusa starts to mutter something in Japanese, then corrects himself, "Hemophilia? Or something like it? I'm sorry." Not said in a pitying way, though.

Togusa ponders something as he picks up his cup of tea, swirling it to cool it off. "You said your specialty was hemotology," he nods, some of the dots starting to connect about Lucian. "I didn't realize it was personally motivated."

Togusa's gaze can't help but look back to those wings. Bleeding gold? How is any of this possible? "If you're becoming senile already, then we're all doomed," Togusa shakes his head. "You're still young."

[ It's rare that Lucian talks about himself to other people, made even more so by the passing of his only living family. While he did have friends, he was never the type to trouble them with his own worries. Most of them could be easily solved by his own power, so there was no need for it.

Not this one, though. ]

Yes. Do not be sorry, it is simply the lot that I had drawn in life. One learns to cope with it.

[ He counts himself lucky that he has a mild version of the disease. His mother not so much; she bled to death. ]

You are right, I am not that old yet. [ Lucian looks out and away into the middle distance. He feels much older though, with his hair already white. Years of traveling had consumed much of his stamina. ] Perhaps I am overthinking things again, but - since our last conversation, I have had more visions. I fear they may be connected.

[ A pause, as he thinks of how best to tell it. ]

I had not allowed myself to believe that our visions were of a past life. However, I had seen people with wings that looked like these. One cannot help wonder... if the reincarnation theory is correct, then I must be from another place.

Togusa still looks surprised, but maybe less surprised than the last time Lucian mentioned this theory. It's a little more credible when you're looking at a man with wings. "A reincarnation from another planet altogether? It sounds incredible. You said," Togusa needs a second to remember, quite a few people have been telling him about their memories, in an attempt to trigger something Togusa would recognize. "A city of marble, speaking a language that you knew, but you didn't recognize. You think it was something not from Earth, then?"

Togusa looks down into his tea, briefly. "There's also an old folk story of the Tengu. Spirits that can conceal themselves, but their true forms have characteristics of birds. They are protectors, and teachers, of a sort. They'll hide their forms, and present some sort of a test to Buddhist monks or martial artists. Usually a test of their pride. If they pass, the Tengu will teach them an important lesson or take them in as a student. And if they fail, well, then you get the usual spirit curses from out of those stories."

"But it's just old stories my grandmother told me."

[ Lucian listens without touching his tea at all, eyes half-lidded and mind deep in thought. ]

That could be possible. [ Who knows what even is impossible now? ] However, the people there gave me more of the impression of angels.

[ He has never talked about religion with Togusa before, so he's not sure what kind of faith the other has. Lucian himself is atheist, so he naturally didn't put a lot of faith in angels being what they were in the scripture. ]

When I had that vision, the angel was speaking of guiding humanity. I would assume that there are humans in that world, but they do not seem to be the people of this world.

[ What does it mean? What does it all mean? Does it even matter? ]

Do you believe in justice, my friend?

In truth, Togusa thinks of himself as more spiritual than strictly religious. He certainly paid attention to the stories from back home, he likes the idea of the ancestors guiding your current actions. But the idea of past lives is meant to be an encouragement, rather than a burden. Honor the ancestors, because you would not be who you are today without them. Do not let their memory weigh you down.

He listens to Lucian's tale, guiding humanity? It could apply to either idea, the Western angels, or the Eastern guardian spirits of the land. It's fascinating, but Lucian doesn't seem to have any better idea of what it means.

Togusa blinks in surprise at Lucian's last question. "Of course," he answers immediately. Okay, maybe he should elaborate. "I mean, it's why I have the job I do. To help along the course of law and justice, there's- not much better to believe in." Congratulations, Lucian, you hit on one of the most guiding principles of Togusa's life.

"Why do you ask?"

[ He had expected something similar, given that Togusa is a police officer. In part, the question wasn't really a legitimate question at all - it served the purpose of a lead-in while he tries to figure out how best to phrase it. ]

In one of the visions, I stood in the place of someone else. He promised a woman that the criminals preying on her family would be brought to justice. There was a conviction in that person's thoughts that felt as if he had absolute confidence in himself.

[ Still hanging on to the possibility that he was just a passenger in some memory that ultimately did not belong to him. ]

Injustice is one of the few things I cannot stand for. It seems to confirm that I am indeed seeing the memories of my past self, as it were. However, I am not quite sure what use this knowledge will have. I may have wings, but - I am just a mundane person.

[ He probably didn't make much sense, but. ]

If this was a novel, the author might have penned that this was the moment that I awaken to my true calling. But it only seems like some sort of joke.

Instead of being worried for his friend, a gentle smile settles onto Togusa's face. "It's a good feeling, isn't it? I'll admit that's another good thing about the job. When you can see injustice, but you can look someone in the eye and promise that it'll get better. Because you're in a position to do something about it?"

"If that's what you remember, that's the part that wouldn't surprise me. With wings or not, that fits with your personality. And even inside the more fantastical trappings, everyone is noting moments that ring true to what they know about themselves."

He glances up at Lucian cautiously. "In a way, it's what you're doing with your current role in life. You found an injustice, albeit a biological one. One that affects you personally, and you want to try to set it right. Through research instead of the law. Biological justice. It's an interesting idea."

[ There's a moment of pause as Lucian lets it sink in, and then his expression resolves into a slight smile. ]

Ah, I have not thought of it that way. [ See, it's always good to get someone else's perspective. ] I suppose you're right.

[ His countenance soon goes back to being serious, though. ]

I still have a lot of work to do before I can make a difference.

There's a little relief when Togusa sees that his words are helping. Maybe it is a different way to look at it, but it can get through to him. "Now that's a familiar feeling, too. You have to know how much you can personally make a difference."

"Put a criminal at a time behind bars," he gestures to Lucian, "help one patient at a time. When you can remember the people you've helped, it puts everything back into scale." He raises his cup of tea in a slight salute.

[ It's rare that he gets told the same things that he tells others, but he supposes it was bound to come back to him anyway. ]

Thank you. [ Lucian raises his own teacup in response. ]I often forget that pushing oneself is not conducive to work. I used to be able to run a field unit. Old thought processes die hard.

[ He retired for a reason, and that was to focus on taking care of a small numer of people. ]

Color Togusa curious, as he leans back in his seat a little. "Field unit? You were military?" That part is actually the surprise, maybe even more so than the appearance of wings on the man.

"Ah-" Togusa puts out a hand, "if it's not prying to ask, that is." Too late, he realizes that the reason he might not have thought Lucian was ex-military is that the man doesn't want to talk about his experience.

[ Togusa has always been polite and respectful; the main reason that Lucian trusts him enough to come to him with this sort of concerns. As a rule he rarely spoke of his past work, but this time he can make an exception. ]

I do not mind. [ He shakes his head slightly, his hair mirroring the movement. ] I was not in the military. I was involved with Médecins Sans Frontières for a time when I was younger. With them, I served in disaster and war zones.

[ The fact that he pronounces the name without any slip is a testament to how much he respects the organization. ]

I retired due to health reasons. [ Said plainly, as if stating a fact - which he was. ] Try not to pay too much heed to this - it is not something important.

Togusa can only hope that he's been able to express the respect he has for Lucian. He's a very knowledgeable and kind man, who has skill in a field that Togusa knows he would never even be able to approach. So he listens carefully. It takes him an extra second to run the term Lucian uses through double-translation (French to Japanese to English- oh!), and then he smiles in understanding. Oh, of course Lucian wasn't in the military, he wouldn't have been accepted with a blood condition. Togusa mentally kicks himself for his thoughtlessness there.

He sympathetically nods when Lucian finishes. "I understand. It was quite a risk, but you undoubtedly did a lot of good going where you were needed."

"And I suppose that also answers my next question which would have been how did you end up here? After a few years doing that, anyone would want to spend their time somewhere quieter. There are plenty of us who are grateful that you did."

[ A risk it was indeed. While doctors were not expected to enter crossfires zones, he held the position of not only a doctor but also a surgeon. A surgeon with a blood disease would be fine if they had a safe, stable work environment; but alas those did not exist in war zones.

A bomb had set off near the field hospital, and he ended up stabbing himself with a scalpel. It did not end well. ]

Every doctor struggles with the concept of 'what if I did a little more'. I was talked into leaving, but I did not want to stop helping people. As you've said to me - one life touched is one life saved. I suppose it takes decades of service for doctors to fully accept that.

[ It had also been said in a memory of his. ]

Friends like you are the ones keeping us grounded. Each doctor did not do great things on their own. Others help them, so it all pays forward.

Edited (grammar) 2017-05-17 15:46 (UTC)

"I-" Togusa looks down, slightly embarrassed, because it's rare that someone other than Koutarou comes right out and compliments him like that. "Thank you. If there is anything I can do to help, you know I'd want to."

"It's fascinating to think of the difference between research and service. It's almost like the debate that took me between law versus police work. You can potentially help a whole lot of people at once, your choices can be more wide-spread in research, specifically, just like behind a law bench."

"But then you can lose track of the people that you're helping, and I prefer the smaller scope." He smiles. "I'd rather see the people I'm helping one at a time."

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