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[standalonehuman]

Togusa

This is Togusa. Feel free to message me at any time.

VOICE | TEXT | VIDEO | ACTION

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[megatechbody]

His response is heartfelt and touching and Mariko has to stifle the laugh because, well, it’s kind of dickish. It’s amusement and relief tangled up in itself.

“Hitori, when have you ever known me to be so mushy?”

Okay, she is laughing but only a little.

“You’re important to me, yeah. But I’ve never been that good at talking about feelings. That last bit was all Salinger.” A beat, as she tries to play off her own sincerity with a shrug. “Even if it was appropriate.”

With effort, she rises from the chair and the movement is so stiff, she’s sure Hitori can hear the creaking.

“I offered a piece of His obsession on a platter and you’re the one who answered. Even with everything you’ve gotten back.”

Her stance is unsteady and she knows that she should ask him to help. But she’s had her fill of leaning on Hitori and she’s not about to start now.

“I need you to get the door for me. Now that I know for sure that my body is going to change, I think the cyberbrain is having difficulty processing...a different body.”

She clears her throat, trying ease her own embarrassment and stifle the urge to cry again.

“When I couldn’t clench my fist, I knew and I couldn’t just glance over the implications from the dreams and her memories. So I have to figure this out, for me, before we talk about this again.”

A scoff.

“She’s in charge and I’m your elder —I should have my shit together for once in my life before we go down this road again.”

[standalonehuman]

The laugh surprises him, bringing a puzzled look to his face, and then she gives up the game, and he cannot believe he missed it. For a moment, Togusa is laughing, too. "Of course. Sally." Holden's own tiny obsession in the book.

But her explanation is another mending line, just the smallest offering of hope. Hope that maybe he isn't as far gone as he'd like to believe. Maybe. Maybe Zee's plan can still work. Maybe he can hang on to himself.

Togusa automatically stands up with Mariko, and again, he notices something is off about her motions. Just like with her hand.

Oh no.

He can keep the sharp inhalation of breath silent. It's still her, but it's as if she's gotten the software upgrade before- the hardware one. It is disgusting to think of it that way, but it's precisely what is happening. Togusa's hand out to the side of Mariko's arm is gentle.

"Okay." With all of the intonation of 'I'm here for you.'

"If you're- comfortable with it," she likely isn't, but he will make the offer, "Isamu could take you home? He'll do all the driving for you." It's how Togusa had planned to drink at the office and still make it back to his own bed. A practical suggestion, nothing else.