Recolle IC Inbox

[standalonehuman]

Togusa

This is Togusa. Feel free to message me at any time.

VOICE | TEXT | VIDEO | ACTION

Comments

[standalonehuman]

Well, that didn't make Togusa panic at all. After a stop at the local noodle house (but what would she like?), Togusa makes it to Cleo's apartment with a very large bag of takeout (apparently a little of everything), and a bag with two-liter sodas slung over one arm. He barely gets a hand free to knock on the door.

"Oof. Cleo? It's me, Togusa."

[cattack]

The door is easily marked by the "Ritter" nameplate, and Cleo's motorcycle out front. And not long after Togusa knocks, the door opens to let him in.

The apartment's interior is... Well, aesthetically confused, to say the least. Her living room has a soft carpet, plush couch, paw print pillows, and the like. There's a coffee table shaped like a cat's paw. There's also a treadmill in the corner, a pull up bar in the doorway to the kitchen, a mat on the ground, and a bunch of dumbbells and weights scattered around. It's a bizarre blend of cute and musclehead. Her cat-eared motorcycle helmet is on a stand near the door as well.

Cleo herself, once Togusa has entered, retreats to sit on the couch. It may even take some time for Togusa to notice the problem, given her cat-eared motorcycle helmet, headphones, hoodies, and the like. But there are definitely real, twitching cat ears on her head, and her short hair shows there are no ears where human ones should be. Her blue eye is gray now, as well, but she doesn't seem to realize that yet.

"... Good morning, Officer Togusa." she says, more hesitantly than she has ever been in her life.

[standalonehuman]

It does take Togusa a second, more concerned with getting in through the door and finding a counter to put the bags down on. "Morning. I wasn't sure what you...liked..."

Oh. Togusa is undeniably startled, but he puts everything down, and the look on his face very quickly shifts to one of sympathy. He might have been worse off if he hadn't already seen someone else who had a very dramatic appearance shift. But he still has to stare for a second, to take it all in. One blink, and then he realizes that he's staring and turns back to the bags of food. "Ah- I'm sorry."

"Do they hurt? Are you-" Togusa lowers the volume of his voice as he thinks of it, "are you hearing things a lot louder now?" Because what else can he ask at a time like this?

[cattack]

She shakes her head. Her ears lie flat when he stares, somewhere between frustration and shame, showing the feelings better than her face. Still, seeing that stare, she looks away, unable to bring herself to look back at him and see an expression of pity.

"They do not hurt. There are small holes, presumably for piercings, but the fur covers them." She speaks quietly. "I am hearing things much louder, but I think that is simply due to their size."

[standalonehuman]

Togusa nods, and he keeps his voice pitched lower. "I understand. I'm sorry. I didn't think the changes would get this far-reaching."

God, what to even think right now? Of course her reaction is going to be very different than Togusa's other friend. He has to take a second to focus. Be there for her as a friend, then.

"Take all the time you need. This- I understand it'll be a hard change to get used to. I can't imagine, if this city is so much louder."

He digs into the top of one of the bags and offers Cleo a takeout container of chicken soup. "Most everything I brought is reheatable." This is unfair, it's so completely unfair, and deep down, this is the sort of thing that makes Togusa want to back that plan to go drive a tractor through the front door of that building. But his anger isn't going to help right this second.

[cattack]

If he told her of that plan, she would immediately be on board. Hell, she'd already been making threats at them in a moment of anger.

"There's no need to apologize, sir." She looks down, ears still flat. "You didn't know, and I can't blame you for it."

She takes the soup from him gratefully, at least, ears picking back up. "I... do not think it is best if I just hide forever. But I don't know what else to do. The noise... is a problem, but one I could get used to, I would be able to deal with it."

Her ears lay flat once more, as she stares at the soup. "... I simply do not wish to be a spectacle."

[standalonehuman]

Togusa shakes his head. "Not forever, of course. I'll admit I'm glad you're thinking that way."

He moves more properly into the living room, following to Cleo's couch. "People...don't always notice as much as you think." He looks up at Cleo again, really looking at her ears this time. "If you don't look too closely, they just look like a headband." Trying to be encouraging.

"But," Togusa knows her fears aren't unfounded. "You're more worried about people who already know you, who would know that something's changed?" That would hurt more, to get stared at by people she knows and likes and trusts.

[cattack]

Cleo goes quiet. Truthfully... She doesn't know many people. She's hardly social, and with her abrasive personality and lack of tact, she tends to drive people away. Those few who still stand with her, she trusts no matter what. But he's not wrong. Those stares, from those she knows...

She takes a deep breath.

"I have... always been out of place." She didn't mean to start there, but it's as good a place as any. "I have never known anything of my parents, or my origins. My eyes don't match. I am a woman who spends my time doing karate. I am a woman who aims to join the police squad. There is always an oddity about me, that makes me stand out from all others. Wherever I am, there are... always those stares. The reminders that I am different. The reminders that I do not belong."

"But these..." She lifts her hands to touch her ears lightly... then presses down on them like she's covering them. Or perhaps crushing them. "These belong to the woman who my visions came from. A woman who has these ears. She has a tail. She has claws, fur. She uses a sword and fights monsters, wielding lightning in her claws."

Her voice, for the first time, actually wavers. "Even if I am always out of place, at least I was human. And now, even that is to be taken from me. Each stare is a reminder of this change."

[standalonehuman]

This entire problem goes deeper than Togusa had expected, and the question of whether to treat her just as a colleague goes right out the window. Togusa's hands very gently go up to take Cleo's, softly pull them away from her ears. "You are not her." His voice is still soft, quiet, but insistent. "You do not have to become her. No matter what Retrospec does to you on the outside." He carefully lets go and settles back into his seat, back to a more prudent distance.

"Your ghost- your soul. Whatever you want to call it, that they cant touch. That piece of individuality that makes you you. They can change how you look, they can slap extra memories on top of the ones that you already have, and it doesn't change who Cleo really is."

Togusa shifts in his seat a little bit. "It might get harder to remember that, the more Retrospec does. But we're going to stop them. It's the day to day before we get to that point that could be difficult. And I'm sorry that they've done this to you. Sorry we don't know more before things got this drastic."

[cattack]

Even as her hands are pulled away, her ears remain folded flat against her head. However, his words seem to reach her, and they perk up... but only slightly.

Cleo is strong. She doesn't cry, ever. She hasn't cried since elementary school, and even then, it was rare. Even now, she doesn't cry... but it's close. She looks up at him, with the innocence and fear that she never shows anyone, and perhaps a bit of hope.

"I.. Thank you, sir." She seems a bit calmer now, enough to focus on his words, clinging onto those words like a drowning woman to a bit of wood in the storm of chaos that her life has become. "It is what is on the inside that matters..." She wasn't sure how much she believed it, but right now, those words were all that kept her going.

"Please, don't apologize." She shakes her head. "It is not your fault. There was no way for you to know more. And now we do know. Anyone else this happens to may be forewarned."

Her words were brave, and could even give the impression that she had suddenly gotten over her fears that quickly... But, of course, that wasn't actually possible. She was frightened, but she had no healthy ways of coping with it. So, she buried her fear, repressing it so Togusa wouldn't worry. And so she herself would believe it- After all, as long as she could achieve her dream of becoming a police officer, ears didn't matter... Right?

[standalonehuman]

It's so little, it feels like he's only doing the smallest amount. But it's what he can do. Can't take this burden from her, can't go slap Jim in handcuffs. Yet. But he can talk to Cleo.

"I don't think anyone has any illusions about whose fault this all is," Togusa shakes his head. "Least of all me. But I can still be sorry that this is happening to you. Nobody deserves this."

Togusa shifts in his seat, trying to settle back a little more. "You're right that it's a net gain, that we know how much Retrospec can do. How much they can change. But it's unfair that you had to pay the price to get that knowledge out. Don't feel like you have to warn everybody, if you're not comfortable with it."

Togusa rests a hand on the right side of his chest. "I was warning a few people at a time, I got- an injury," he shakes his head again, "something I know I've never gotten. But I couldn't bring myself to tell everyone at once. Just- to warn the people I thought might be most likely to have it happen to them." The people Togusa cared about the most.

[cattack]

"An... injury?" Her voice is unsure, and her ears droop, as she looks at Togusa's chest. Her own worry has to be pushed aside- there's a person who may be hurt. And for all her other problems, right now, Cleo is still herself. She can never let someone else in trouble pass just for her own issues. She will always put herself aside if someone else needs help.

"Are you all right, sir? Have you have it looked at?"

[standalonehuman]

Togusa quickly shakes his head. "It is just fine. I'm fine. I got it examined by a good friend of mine, Dr. Lucian Trevelyan. It's just surface scar tissue. I do appreciate the concern, though." He hesitates, but he glances up at Cleo's ears. "He- might be able to help you, too. And I can promise that he would keep the utmost discretion with anything he might find."

Togusa settles back into his chair a little. "My point was that you don't have to share this with people, it's not your responsibility. Even though I don't think you have anything to fear. Some people might surprise you with their understanding."

[cattack]

Cleo lowered her head, taking in his words. She wanted so desperately to believe them, but...

"It is my responsibility. If I am in a position to help, and I do nothing, then it is as though I bear complicity for what is done." That sense of responsibility is what drove her to wish to become a police officer in the first place. She couldn't just shake it off so quickly. After all... All she has ever wanted was to help people.

"But to see a doctor is likely a good idea. It is best to see if there is anything I have missed with them."

[standalonehuman]

There is a pang right in Togusa's chest at her words. Because he understands them, he might as well have said the same thing only a few years ago. So he can respect it. "All right. But the other thing about being a police officer is that you're never alone. The camaraderie can take the strangest forms sometimes," oh the strangest, "but people always do have your back. So you aren't alone in this, if you do choose to talk about this to others."

Togusa digs for his wallet, because at this point, he is just keeping a stack of Dr. Trevelyan's business cards. "If you mention it's Retrospec-related, he'll even see you after hours. You can trust him, I promise. But if you can't take my word for it, I'm pretty sure you'll know it very quickly on meeting him." It's not Togusa's place to say, but Cleo is not the only one who has been going through physical changes. And Lucian's is quite dramatic.

[cattack]

Cleo just nods. She isn't sure how much she can believe she's not alone. But... She wants to believe it. So she'll trust Togusa's words.

"How will I know it?" She asks, curiously. Physical changes, perhaps? Or does he have some sort of magic trust aura? It's hard to tell, with Retrospec.

[standalonehuman]

Togusa puts a hand to his chin. "He really wouldn't mind, but I don't want to share his business without him being here. But, let's say... He has gone through a physical change, also. He has been more skilled than I would have expected about hiding it, too." He nods towards Cleo. "You might think it's impossible, although I still say that most people would just think they're a headband. But he might even have some advice about fitting in, too."

[cattack]

Cleo nods. "Doctor... Lucian Trevelyan." She tries to commit the name to memory, looking down at the card.

"I think I will take this advice... I need all the help I can get, like this."

fffff thought I got to this

[standalonehuman]

It's still not quite appropriate to smile, but the idea that maybe Cleo can find some other understanding in somebody else is a good one. He nods a little. "Is there anything else I can bring you? I can keep you up to date on any- investigations." Retrospec-related or not. "Or whatever you need?"