[hdu Togusa, he's not that huge a sap yes he is, you have him
right on the nose]
If only it was that simple. You know
how I said he got first aid at some point the night he was shot? She was
the one who gave it to him. And then he basically told her goodbye when she
asked him to explain what was going on. 'I'm probably going to disappear.'
'I'm the kind of person you can't forgive.' Shit like that. And then she
turns up at his apartment two days later with food and tells him to get
well and come back to work because she needs her partner.
They have a complicated
relationship.
[Tatuso is judging his other self so hard right now. SO
HARD.]
Well, it was less the 'I'm too
dangerous to be around' and more the 'I did this thing and you said you'd
hate me forever if I did this thing.' Basically.
What makes you think she likes
him?
[Tatsuo wonders himself, but feels his opinion on the matter is
probably tainted by Ryuuzaki's own feelings.]
It was your dream, but I don't think you could see the look on her face when you/Ryuuzaki were on the ground outside of the building. He scared her good.
So. To recap. She wasn't even there when Ryuuzaki got shot. But when your mind needed help in the dream, she was one of the people that got brought in?
[Togusa is very not okay for a few moments, gripping at his own arm tightly to keep from crying. He'd been burying all of it down, trying to just keep pushing on with work to not think about her and what she meant to him. It's one-sided now, obsessive, inappropriate, he cannot continue on this path. But just because it's over doesn't mean that it meant nothing. Tatsuo's words are a comfort that Togusa hadn't let anyone give to him.]
Tatsuo. Thank you.
And here, I was supposed to be taking care of you, hunh?
[and this is why Tatsuo is a hugglepuff... i mean
hufflepuff]
I'm fine, Hitori. It's weird, but I'm
fine.
[mostly because he's trying reallllly hard not to think about it too
much lolololol because if he does, then he'll start getting a bit freaked
out over the fact he's basically been implanted with someone else's
feelings good practice for next month lmao]
If this is fine, our coping mechanisms are starting to get really messed up. It is okay to not be fine, you just remembered getting shot. Hell, you're still recovering from it.
[Bring it back to the physical, maybe Tatsuo can deal with that part easier than, well, the emotional. He's thinking of Koutarou again, his friend's memory of an entire life spent with another woman. Of course this is going to keep happening to other people.]
As far as I can tell, it's been an
addition rather than a substitution. My own feelings for the people in my
life are still here. As far as I can tell.
[shit... does he need to make a checklist of important people? it's
one thing to keep track of the new memories and something else entirely to
try to keep track of the old]
At least this time I get to use my
sick leave instead of my vacation!
[FUUUUUCK. Thanks, Tatsuo, Togusa hadn't even thought of that.]
From everything we've seen so far, nothing from our lives here has been forgotten. Remember, we've got to keep something to revert to if they lose track of us. So, I don't think your feelings and memories for your friends are going to go anywhere.
[And no, Togusa only has the barest, most flimsy proof for that idea, but he will cling to that proof as hard as he can.]
That's what I keep telling myself.
The fact they have to have something to reset us to. Just in case.
[wow this is getting depressing]
Anyway. You want to know the wildest
thing I learned from this recent batch of memories? Or more of confirmed.
I've been suspecting this for a while, but couldn't make the full
connection until recently.
Re: 1/25
Date: 2018-02-01 04:07 pm (UTC)[hdu Togusa, he's not that huge a sap
yes he is, you have him right on the nose]If only it was that simple. You know how I said he got first aid at some point the night he was shot? She was the one who gave it to him. And then he basically told her goodbye when she asked him to explain what was going on. 'I'm probably going to disappear.' 'I'm the kind of person you can't forgive.' Shit like that. And then she turns up at his apartment two days later with food and tells him to get well and come back to work because she needs her partner.
They have a complicated relationship.
[Tatuso is judging his other self so hard right now. SO HARD.]
Re: 1/25
Date: 2018-02-02 11:31 am (UTC)[Laughing with Tatsuo, not at him, Togusa promises...]
Complicated's a word for that. At least she probably does like him.
Re: 1/25
Date: 2018-02-02 04:28 pm (UTC)Well, it was less the 'I'm too dangerous to be around' and more the 'I did this thing and you said you'd hate me forever if I did this thing.' Basically.
What makes you think she likes him?
[Tatsuo wonders himself, but feels his opinion on the matter is probably tainted by Ryuuzaki's own feelings.]
Re: 1/25
Date: 2018-02-02 09:37 pm (UTC)Re: 1/25
Date: 2018-02-02 09:48 pm (UTC)Ah, but she wasn't actually present at that point. He left her behind in the tunnel when he went to go find Tacchan.
[and about two seconds after he hits 'send' he realizes what he typed]
Re: 1/25
Date: 2018-02-02 10:10 pm (UTC)[Nope. Sorry. A hard time will be forever given about this.]
Re: 1/25
Date: 2018-02-02 10:34 pm (UTC)Tatsuya. Danno Tatsuya. Ryuuzaki's childhood best friend and foster brother. And the guy Ryuuzaki took a bullet for.
Re: 1/25
Date: 2018-02-02 11:26 pm (UTC)Re: 1/25
Date: 2018-02-02 11:48 pm (UTC)Yes. Which speaks more to Ryuuzaki's feelings for her than her feelings for him.
Re: 1/25
Date: 2018-02-05 11:19 am (UTC)Hell of a thing, though. My own love life is complicated enough, none of us need to get saddled with a second one.
Re: 1/25
Date: 2018-02-06 03:49 am (UTC)[Tatsuo squints at that. Then pulls up Retrospec and pokes around on the app until he finds what he's looking for. Oh.]
I would definitely advise avoiding this, if at all possible. The transference is super weird.
Re: 1/25
Date: 2018-02-06 04:15 am (UTC)I cant keep following her around hoping she’ll come back again. Promise, the goal is to wish her the best and back off.
Re: 1/25
Date: 2018-02-06 05:08 am (UTC)Easier said than done though, huh?
[why do his friends keep having shit luck with their relationships?]
Re: 1/25
Date: 2018-02-06 11:31 pm (UTC)I'll be okay. I don't want to get dramatic about this. She's wonderful, but it's better that Retrospec is out of her life.
Re: 1/25
Date: 2018-02-07 08:16 am (UTC)Yeah. If you need to talk about it though, I'm happy to listen.
[since he currently understands the whole unrequited love thing]
Re: 1/25
Date: 2018-02-07 09:00 am (UTC)She looked at me, and she saw me instead of the cop. That doesn't happen with anybody else.
Re: 1/25
Date: 2018-02-07 07:00 pm (UTC)It's like having a light switched off.
Having a job with such a public 'face' is hard. The moment people find out they balk and think you're 'on job' 24/7.
Re: 1/25
Date: 2018-02-07 07:13 pm (UTC)I can know it was real. Right? It's okay to remember it, even if Retrospec wiped it out.
Re: 1/25
Date: 2018-02-07 08:50 pm (UTC)[yes, Togusa, don't forget about your bff]
Yes, It was real. It will always be real. So remember it all you want.
[he wants to say 'Retrospec can't take your memory of it,' but they both know that's probably not true]
Re: 1/25
Date: 2018-02-07 09:01 pm (UTC)Tatsuo. Thank you.
And here, I was supposed to be taking care of you, hunh?
Re: 1/25
Date: 2018-02-07 11:27 pm (UTC)[and this is why Tatsuo is a hugglepuff... i mean hufflepuff]
I'm fine, Hitori. It's weird, but I'm fine.
[mostly because he's trying reallllly hard not to think about it too much lolololol because if he does, then he'll start getting a bit freaked out over the fact he's basically been implanted with someone else's feelings
good practice for next month lmao]Re: 1/25
Date: 2018-02-08 12:02 am (UTC)[Bring it back to the physical, maybe Tatsuo can deal with that part easier than, well, the emotional. He's thinking of Koutarou again, his friend's memory of an entire life spent with another woman. Of course this is going to keep happening to other people.]
Re: 1/25
Date: 2018-02-08 03:56 pm (UTC)As far as I can tell, it's been an addition rather than a substitution. My own feelings for the people in my life are still here. As far as I can tell.
[shit... does he need to make a checklist of important people? it's one thing to keep track of the new memories and something else entirely to try to keep track of the old]
At least this time I get to use my sick leave instead of my vacation!
[
yes, yes it is going to keep happening]Re: 1/25
Date: 2018-02-08 05:16 pm (UTC)From everything we've seen so far, nothing from our lives here has been forgotten. Remember, we've got to keep something to revert to if they lose track of us. So, I don't think your feelings and memories for your friends are going to go anywhere.
[And no, Togusa only has the barest, most flimsy proof for that idea, but he will cling to that proof as hard as he can.]
Re: 1/25
Date: 2018-02-08 06:54 pm (UTC)That's what I keep telling myself. The fact they have to have something to reset us to. Just in case.
[wow this is getting depressing]
Anyway. You want to know the wildest thing I learned from this recent batch of memories? Or more of confirmed. I've been suspecting this for a while, but couldn't make the full connection until recently.
Re: 1/25
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